Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
