my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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