On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
