im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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