So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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