I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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