Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
