Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he told me I talked like a deaf person
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
