I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
