I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
accomplished twins. life is a go
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
