1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Never underestimate the power of titties
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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