If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
