I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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