He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
