Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How does it feel to date your dad?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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