Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
