All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
