Your dad touched me again.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
