And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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