Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
