I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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