Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
