i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
