Umm I'm too high to move.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
