Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
