Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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