I cockslap morals
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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