Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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