i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
