You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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