We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
