upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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