why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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