So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
