So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Blood and glitter go together right?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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