What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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