So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
