Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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