he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
