I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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