He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
