she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm really busy with my period
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