Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
