South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
