If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
