girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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