Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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