Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
