she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
