ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
