O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
