dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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